Tequila, Rain and Kisses
by Miss-HL
Summary: An insane case, tequila, kissing, suspense and Caskett moments.  Story takes off a few months after Knockout
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One.

Castle was too busy thinking about how long the week had been to notice Ryan eyeballing him in the back seat of Beckett's car and now it was too late. He was in trouble. Again.

"Sorry, what?" Castle asked coming back into reality.

"Nothing." Beckett said in a harsh tone.

Castle could see Esposito shaking his head in the front seat. Castle took a deep breath in and looked out the window again. That was the first time Beckett has spoken to him in two days and he had missed it. It had been a long and cold day in New York City and Castle was glad this case was finally over. Beckett pulled up outside the 12th and the team got out to find Lanie outside.

"Yo, Gorgeous" Esposito said walking over to Lanie. "You here to take me home?" he asked kissing her.

"You wish. I'm taking Beckett out for a girls night tonight. She certainly needs it" Lanie shot a dirty look at Castle who didn't respond.

Ryan and Esposito were still moaning about not being allowed to go out with them when the elevator doors opened to the ball pen.

"I'll just sign off and we'll go." Beckett told Lanie and walked off laughing at Ryan and Esposito who were still moaning. Lanie turned to Castle and smacked his arm.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Why did you go and have to mess up the case?" Castle looked towards the ground not wanting to answer Lanie because he knew he was wrong.

"I thought I was right and I wasn't. It happens. I apologized to her and that's all I can do. Until she is ready to talk to me again there is no point even being here." Castle said watching Beckett pack up her bag.

"Night guys. Have a good weekend." Castle said half smiling walking back towards the elevator.

"We'll see you Monday?" Ryan asked almost worried for the answer.

"Maybe." Castle responded not looking at Ryan but at the elevator button.

"Oh come on bro, she wont stay mad for that long." Esposito said looking from Castle to Ryan who now looked worried. Castle was gone by the time Beckett got back.

"He's gone" Lanie said to Beckett after catching her looking around. "He said he might see you Monday? Come on Beckett was it really that bad?"

"He stole evidence Lanie! He regretted to tell me crucial evidence about the suspect and he denied going back to the crime scene. He should have been taken off the case from the moment he knew who the victim was. He got too close."

"Kate, he apologized. You have to see where he was coming from though, don't you? He wanted his friend not to be guilty and he wanted to fix it. You would have done the same thing. How about you cut him some slack?" Lanie responded hurrying Beckett into the elevator before Ryan and Esposito could come back and demand that they go with the girls.

-x-

Castle arrived home to find Martha and Alexis cooking dinner. "What's wrong?" Alexis asked Castle before he could sit down at the bar stools. Castle tried to smile it off but he knew Alexis and Martha knew him better.

"Beckett still mad?" Martha asked taking a sip from the full wine class she had in her hand whilst stirring something on the stove. Castle nodded and said nothing.

"Dad, did you tell her that you're sorry?"

"Of course I did. She wont have a bar of it. You know Beckett and how stubborn she is. What I did was wrong, I just thought she would understand why I did it."

"What's going to happen to Paul?" Martha asked as she put way too much pepper into the pot but Castle didn't even bother to say anything about it.

"Twenty years behind bars for his role in the murder." Castle put his head in his hands. "What I don't get is why he did it. Why he got into that much trouble and didn't ask anyone for help?"

"Rick, you knew him years ago. Before Alexis even came along. He was a different man back then. You were as well. You did what you could to help the man, you almost got arrested. Stop asking why and just move on" Martha said turning off the stove.

"Come on Alexis, we're going out for dinner" Alexis hugged Castle and pleaded he come with them but it was no use. Castle wanted to be alone.

He sat at his computer staring at the manuscript for the new Nikki Heat book thinking about how long he had been shadowing Beckett for and how much he learnt about her and yet there was so much more to know. He thought about what he would do if she didn't forgive him and what it would be like to not be working at the 12th anymore. He closed his laptop and leaned back in his chair.

Castle woke to his phone ringing. It was 2am. The ID said Kate Beckett. He hesitated but then answered. "Hello?"

"Bro, it's Esposito. We're down at the Old Haunt. Uhhh you might want to get down here. Beckett is in trouble with your security" Castle could hear Lanie laughing in the background and the song 'Girls just want to have fun' blasting. He knew it wouldn't be all bad.

-x-

Castle walked into the Old Haunt. He took off his drenched jacket and threw it behind the bar. He went out back to find Beckett siting on a stool surrounded by three security guards.

"She tried to get behind the bar. She broke a few bottles. She said she knows you. Thought we'd get someone to call you before we got the police involved." The butch security guy said, his arm muscles bulging.

Castle smiled. "She is the police. So are they" he pointed to Ryan and Esposito who were at the bar laughing. "She's fine. I've got it."

The security guards walked back outside and Castle looked down at Beckett. He didn't realize what she was wearing. A short black dress, the top was lace and he could see the outline of her bra, high heals, her hair perfectly curled falling around her face. He had to look away before she caught him staring.

"Should of let them do their job" she said looking up. She knew it was direct dig at him but she couldn't help herself. Castle nodded and took a deep breath in.

"Listen Beckett, I'm sorry. I screwed up and I apologized. If you don't want me around, I'll go." Castle turned to walk away. He never wanted to say that to her. He never wanted to leave Beckett but he knew she was mad at him and there wasn't anything else he could do until she forgave him.

Beckett took hold of Castle's arm. He never could get used to her touch. He looked over at Beckett.

"Castle, You put my job on the line. Usually I can control what you do, but this, this was worse than I could imagine. You almost threw the case away. I'm sorry your friend did something awful and you didn't want to believe it, but it's not my job to pick and choose who does the bad things Rick." Beckett stood up a bit too fast and the tequila rushed to her head and she stumbled. Castle grabbed her side, he could feel her hip bone under her dress.

"I'm truly sorry for what I did and the position I put you in Kate. I'll never do it again" Castle knew that this wouldn't be their last fight but he knew he had to say it.

Beckett was still holding his arm and Castle was still holding her side when Ryan walked in.

"Oh sorry." He looked at the ground. Castle and Beckett separated. "Lanie wants you out on the dance floor Immediately" Beckett smiled and walked back into the bar. Ryan raised his eyebrows at Castle and smiled. Castle watched Beckett through the bar window dancing with Lanie.

"Come on mate, you need a drink" Ryan put his hand on Castle's shoulder and led him out to the bar.

He joined Esposito at the booth and the boys shot back tequila after tequila. Lanie came over and pulled Castle on the dance floor.

Esposito cut in after their third dance and Castle was happy to hand over his dance partner.

Beckett and Ryan were giggling in the booth when Castle found them. They stopped as soon as Castle sat down.

"What are you laughing about?" Castle asked leaning closer to Beckett to make sure he heard her over the Bon Jovi playing.

"Nothing" Beckett smiled putting her tongue between her teeth and falling back into the booth laughing. Lanie and Esposito joined them after the song ended.

"We need more drinks" Beckett said standing up. Castle took her hand and told her to sit. He went to the bar himself and returned with a bottle of tequila and five shot glasses. Castle knew this wasn't going to end well but took the shot anyway.

-x-

The bar was getting quiet when the gang decided to call it a night. Castle put Ryan in a cab and sent him home wondering how Jenny would feel when he arrived home. Lanie and Esposito starting walking back to Lanie's apartment, not caring about the rain. Kissing each other every few steps. Beckett was leaning against the building.

"Want me to hail you a cab?" Beckett shook her head at Castle and began to walk down the street. "I'm only a few blocks from here, I'll be fine"

"You do realize you're going in the wrong direction?" Castle tried not to laugh at Beckett. She stopped in her tracks and spun around ready to say something witty back at Castle but lost her footing on the wet pavement. Castle grabbed her with both hands around her middle. Beckett liked the fit but pushed against his chest in rebellion.

"I'll take you home. It's raining, it's late or early, I can't tell and you're drunk" Castle was still holding on to Beckett when she finally caved in.

The taxi ride seemed to take ages. Beckett was leaning against Castle's shoulder. She knew she shouldn't be but she couldn't seem to move. How did she let herself get this drunk? How was Castle not that drunk? Where were they?

-x-

She opened her eyes as Castle opened the door to her apartment. He was carrying her.

"Castle, put me down, I'm fine" Beckett's words were slurred but Castle lowered her feet to the ground and held her hips until she got steady on her feet. It was pitch black and the rain was hard. Beckett could feel the wetness of her hair against her back. She could feel Castle so close behind her. His breath warm on her neck and it made the hair on her neck stand up. He didn't let go of her and walked behind her to her room without a word. She sat down on the bed and looked up at Castle.

"You should go, this is embarrassing" Beckett half smiled and wished he wouldn't leave. Castle left her room and returned with a glass of water and a towel. Castle didn't turn the light on as there was enough light shining in from outside and a stunned Beckett was probably better.

"You need to get out of those wet clothes" Castle said handing her the cup.

"This is the worlds worst cliché." Beckett said lying back on the bed, both her hands over her eyes.

Castle smiled. He liked the fact that she needed him. That for once he wasn't the one that had to be rescued. He sat down on the bed next to her. Castle leaned down and slipped her shoes off.

"Pajamas?" He asked.

"Top shelf in the dresser." She pointed across the room.

He stood up, opened the draw and pulled out a big old college shirt. That will do he thought. He held his hands and she took his hands.

"Beckett, come on you need to get changed" he pulled her up to him. Her head heavy with tequila, she let it rest against his chest. This was going to be difficult he thought. Castle slid his hand right down her back which caused Beckett to let out a quiet moan as his fingers danced down the zip.

"Kate." Beckett looked up at Castle, she loved it when he called her by her first name, it made everything so real. Her wet hair still looked perfect and her green eyes were dancing in the light from outside. She took a deep breath in and Castle unzipped her dress slowly. She held onto him with her hands around his neck. When her dress fell to the ground, Castle avoided looking at her but reached down and picked up the shirt. Beckett stood back and lifted her arms up and without trouble, Castle pulled the shirt down over her arms and head. Her black lace bra and underwear staying on. Her arms around his neck tightened.

As embarassing as this was for Beckett, she was glad to have Castle there. She was glad that they were talking again and she was glad that he was keeping her balanced.

"Bedtime for you I think" Castle unhooked her firm grip around his neck and let her fall down gently on the bed. He pulled the covers over her.

"Don't go." Beckett said shyly and quiet.

Castle sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over Beckett. Her eyes looking right into him. "You don't want me to stay and I shouldn't stay. You're drunk."

Beckett smiled. "Your intentions are pure. Remember you told me that in LA" her fingers were picking at a loose string on the blanket.

Castle was reminded of when they went to Los Angeles. When they were in the hotel room. It had been so long since then. So much had happened, Captain was dead, someone was still gunning after Beckett and her and Josh had since split.

"What are you thinking about?" Beckett asked resting her head on her hand.

"Captain. LA. Josh" Castle looked across at Beckett. Their eyes met and Castle knew by the look in Beckett's eyes, she didn't enjoy his revelation. They hadn't talked about Josh at all. It had been a sore spot for Beckett and Castle hadn't pushed her to talk about it. Beckett looked out the window and tried to sit up.

"Don't, Come on Beckett, go to sleep" Castle pleaded but Beckett wouldn't listen as usual. Her head was spinning so she rested it against Castle's shoulder. He was like a magnet to her. She felt Castle rest his head against hers and felt him breathe out. His hands were in his lap, he was fiddling with his watch.

"Castle, I'm sorry." Beckett said quietly.

"Why?" Castle was worried about what she was going to bring up.

"For breaking the bottles at the Old Haunt. I was at mad at you." Castle just laughed. She loved his laugh.

"You're forgiven" he replied. "Now sleep." He lifted her head in his hands and held it in front of him. He wanted to kiss her. She wanted to kiss him. But it wasn't the time.

"Goodnight, Kate" Castle said quietly giving Beckett a soft kiss on the forehead. Beckett closed her eyes and Castle let Beckett's head hit the pillow. He stayed siting there for another minute. Thinking, wondering, deciding what would happen in their relationship next. Beckett's hand came out from under the blanket and took Castle's hand. He turned to her. The green in her eyes was piercing in this light and she pulled herself half up and pulled his hand closer to her, he couldn't move away from her gaze. Their relationship seemed like a game. Will they? Wont they? Castle leaned in closer to Beckett and she framed Castle's face with her hands. Castle felt her lips touch his with a soft gentle kiss. Beckett rested her forehead against his and Castle's hand tightened. He leaned in again and kissed her, this time with more passion and more need for each other. Castle could taste the tequila in her mouth and knew this was bad. He knew he had to pull away but he couldn't. Castle took her hands off his face and held them tightly. She could see his outline in the dark. As much as he needed to leave he couldn't find it in him to get up. Beckett waited for him to say something. He let go of her hands and went to get up but Beckett was faster and pulled him back before he was even standing. She was on her knees on the bed holding the collar of his shirt. She kissed him. He didn't kiss back.

"Kate." Castle said in between her kisses.

"Give in. Please" Beckett breathed into him. She kissed him again and he finally kissed back. She found a way into his mouth. His hands found themselves under her shirt on her bare back. He could feel goosebumps as his hands were cold against her delicate skin. She pulled him down on top of her. The room was spinning now but she didn't know whether it was the tequila or the kissing. She unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it down over his shoulders. She felt his chest heaving against hers and she took his belt in her hands but his hand found hers and he pulled away.

"I can't do this." Castle said in between breathes. "I want to do this. I've waited to do this but I don't want it to be something less than what it could be." He sat down on the other side of the bed. Beckett felt slightly ashamed at what had just happened. She has given herself up and he hadn't taken it.

"I want you. You have no idea how bad. But not like this." Castle said staring right into her eyes and Beckett just looked away. He cupped her face with his hand and kissed her softly on the lips and she couldn't help but give in. She knew he was right.

"You should stay. The weather sounds horrible. I'll play nice." Beckett smiled and pulled the blankets down and waited for Castle to respond.

He kicked off his shoes, pulled out his belt and climbed in. Beckett seemed so small next to him in bed. He wanted to protect her even though he knew he would be the one needing the protection.

"Goodnight." and before Castle could respond Beckett was already asleep. Castle smiled. He didn't think the week would end this way. He inched closer to Beckett wrapping his arm around her middle and pulling her in close to him.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two.

Sun streamed through the window and woke Beckett. She opened her eyes and winced them closed again. Her head was pounding. She went to get up to close the curtain when she felt someone's arm around her middle. Then she remembered. Castle was next to her and suddenly everything from last night came flooding back. The tequila, the rain, the kissing. She wanted to be embarrassed, she wanted to hate what happened but she couldn't. She smiled and stayed still making sure she could remember this moment later. She could his chest moving as he breathed. She rolled over to face him which stirred him. His eyes opened slowly and Beckett quickly shut hers. She felt his fingers run up and down her back. She slowly opened her eyes. Castle was smiling a smile she had barely seen since Captain had died.

"Morning. How's the head?" Castle asked quietly brushing her hair from her face and then placing his hand back on her hip under her shirt.

"It could be better." She said sheepishly and almost embarrassed now. "Sorry for last night." she added, not looking at Castle but at his lips.

He didn't answer instead he sat up staring at out the window and Beckett was scared. Had she dreamed up the fact there was something there last night, something hot. She stayed lying down. Afraid to get up for her head and her hearts sake.

"You know what?" Castle asked not looking away

"What?" Beckett asked.

"I never dreamt of the day that I would have to look after Detective Katherine Beckett and you know what else? I kinda liked being the white knight" Castle smiled down at Beckett.

She could breathe again. She rolled her eyes up at Castle and sat up.

"Castle the white knight? Really? I wasn't that bad and it wont be happening again."

"Don't promise that. Drunk Beckett is quite sexy but as much as I would like to see hungover Beckett and bask in the glory of how difficult today will be for you, I've got to go and write the new chapter for Nikki Heat that was due last week. I've finally got some inspiration" he raised his eyebrows at Beckett and smiled.

"Don't you dare Castle." Beckett's face was stern and she was serious. Castle was putting on his shoes and belt laughing at how serious she was. "Castle, please no." Beckett threw her hands over her face. She felt the shift in weight on the bed and Castle pulled her hands down. His kissed her once on her cheek, once on the corner of her mouth and then once, very softly on the lips.

"Go back to sleep." Castle said walking out of her room. She covered her mouth and fell back down on the bed smiling when she heard the door close. Castle stood on the other side of the door smiling at what had just happened. He spent the night with her, he kissed her and they woke up together.

-x-

It wasn't until the next morning when Beckett walked into the 12th when she became worried about working with Castle. She didn't even know what they were now, Were they the same? We they together?

She was brought back into reality by her phone ringing.

"Yo Beckett, we got a fresh one. 77th east street. Meet you there?" Esposito said down the phone from the crime scene.

"Uh. Yeah. Did you ring Castle?" Beckett wondered if she sounded any different talking about him now. Would Esposito pick up on it?

"He said he would sit this one out. He's got the new chapter to write. See you soon."

The line went flat. Beckett fell back against her desk. Castle siting out a case? What was happening?

She stood up and headed for the elevator pushing it to the back of her mind.

-x-

She crossed the crime scene and headed towards Lanie.

"What have we got?" Beckett asked forgetting to even say hello. Lanie looked up from the corpse and raised one eyebrow at Beckett.

"Single gunshot wound to the head. Early fifties I assume. He's wearing some sort of hospital gown and he's just had major open heart surgery by the looks of his wound right down his chest. No ID"

"Esposito and Ryan canvas the area to see if anyone saw him before today and call all the hospitals in the area and see if they are missing a patient."

"Yes boss" Ryan said as he and Esposito started walking off.

"Where's Castle?" Lanie asked without looking from the body.

"Writing."

"Not like him to miss a case. How was the rest of your night after we left?" Lanie asked in a coy voice. Beckett didn't answer. She was looking around the crime scene. She knew Lanie wouldn't give up though.

"Kate, did something happen between you and Castle?" She asked standing up.

Beckett shrugged her shoulders. "I thought there was something there but then he doesn't show up to this case. I didn't talk to him yesterday either." She rests her hands on her hips. Lanie's eyes widen and she smiles.

"You know him and deadlines. It will have nothing to do with you. Call him."

Beckett knew she should believe Lanie but there was something pressing at the back of her mind.

"Beckett, a friend from the 18th just called in. They've got a Jane-Doe. Same situation as our guy." Ryan said still on the phone.

"Tell them we're on our way over." Beckett called out and then looked at Lanie. "Great. Double homicide."

Jane-Joe had the same gown on. No ID. The same gun shot wound. But she had a long cut below her stomach, stitched perfectly.

-x-

The team headed back to the 12th to wait on Lanie's autopsy. Beckett was staring at the blank murder board thinking about the case, thinking about Castle, thinking about Saturday night, thinking about the kissing and his hands on her bare skin. She looked to the ground to try and hide her grin even though it was only the murder board facing her.

"What are you thinking about?" Castle said right behind Beckett startling her. He was so close that she could feel his words against her neck.

"What are you doing here?" Beckett asked ignoring his question as Castle handed her a cup of coffee and ignored her question.

"Uhh, thanks." Beckett said not really sure what the coffee meant now but was still grateful, this was going to be a long case. She could feel it.

"Yo Castle. You made it back." Esposito fist pumped Castle and then they all turned to look at the murder board. Beckett and Castle's questions remained unanswered.

Ryan filled Castle in on the case so far whilst Beckett rocked from one foot to the other, half thinking about the case and half thinking about Castle.

"He was married. Look at his finger that's a ring tan" Castle pointed out in the photo of the John-Doe and Beckett wondered how she missed it.

"They're not in the system Beckett. Neither of them" Ryan said adding to the confusion in Beckett's head.

-x-

"Lanie called. She said there is something weird going on." Esposito said walking back over to them.

Down at autopsy Lanie explained the weird thing "They have UV tattoos on the bottoms of their feet. He has the number 4 and she has 6."

"What?" Asked Beckett, her head tilted sideways in confusion.

"I know. It gets weirder. After I opened them up I found his heart missing and her ovaries are missing. They were taken out postmortem. There are no foreign fibers and nothing under their nails. Nothing."

Beckett stood back in confusion hitting Castle's shoulder. He looked down at her. They held their gaze until they could feel eyes on them. When Beckett looked back at Lanie her eyebrows were raised and she was smiling.

"She also has a tattoo on her hip. A date in roman numerals." She opened the case file again. "28th May 1990." Lanie exclaimed pointing to the tattoo.

"Tattooed feet. Missing organs. No evidence. This is my kind of case." Castle said smirking and Beckett wasn't impressed. Nothing was adding up in this case and Castle was acting completely normal towards her, which she wasn't sure was a good or bad thing.

Esposito and Ryan walked into the room waiting for more news.

"We'll pick this up tomorrow after the toxic screens come back and after we've got the results from the gowns." Beckett said almost defeated there was nothing they could do.

Esposito stayed behind to wait for Lanie and Ryan called Jenny saying he would be on his way home soon.

"So, you going home then?" She asked Castle back in the ball pen.

"Yeah, Alexis has this college talk thing that I promised I would go to." Castle said against her desk.

"Have a good night then." Beckett said looking down at her desk. Castle stood there wondering what he should do. He was trying to act normal because he was scared that she would kill him if he put a finger on her. He walked behind her desk and brushed his hand across her back. Beckett didn't even look up, she kept looking at the pile of paper in front of her.

-x-

It was dark out by the time Beckett got home. She had gone over every inch of this new case but couldn't catch a break. She has just settled down when there was a knock at her door.

"I was thinking about about this case." Castle said as Beckett opened the door. She smiled and let him in, saddened by this not being a social call.

"Yeah so what crazy story have you come up with?" Beckett asked siting back down on the couch leaving Castle standing.

"Ok, well he was married right? And the ring was gone and his heart was taken out. He lost his heart. She is missing her ovaries and has a tattoo symbolizing a certain date. Maybe she lost a baby?"

Beckett knew it was crazy but it sort of began to make sense.

"This feels like The Wizard of Oz." Beckett said covering her face "What about the UV tattoos?"

"I have no idea about those. Or the hospital gowns. Or the assassin style killing" Castle said siting next to her on the couch thinking hard about the murders.

"How did Alexis' college thing go?" Beckett asked changing the subject.

"Good. She's picked a top three, all out of state." Castle shrugged it off hoping she would change her mind. Beckett could see the hurt in his voice.

"Well you've still got us at the 12th and Martha you know" Beckett said hoping it would cheer up Castle. He turned to look at her.

"I'm sorry I didn't make it to the crime scene this morning. I was writing and I didn't want to do anything to make you feel awkward. Do I hug you? do I not? I don't know." Castle was looking right at her.

"Well until we figure out what this is, how about we just keep it to what it used to be at work?" Beckett was smiling, she was happy that he thought there was something there as well and that she hadn't dreamt the entire thing.

"Deal." Castle said pulling her legs onto his lap and getting comfortable and Beckett made a face.

"Well you said 'at work' and we're not at work are we?" Beckett laughed at Castle and agreed. The sad thing was that they would continue to talk about the case. Being a detective was like always being on call. Your mind always thinking about the case.

-x-

Beckett woke when she heard a large bang. She sat up startled and looked around.

"Sorry...I was putting away the dishes." Castle coming back into the lounge.

"The dishes? What? When did I fall asleep?" Beckett asked getting up. She was confused and her head was sleepy.

"About an hour ago. You were out cold." Castle walked over to her.

Beckett couldn't even remember it. She couldn't even remember being tired. She thought about the other night and how well she slept. She knew it was because of Castle. She let out a small smirk and looked towards the ground thinking about how lame it sounded but she trusted him and felt safe.

He walked over to Beckett and put his arms around her waist. "You're gorgeous when you sleep, you know that."

"Well that's all I seem to be doing around you lately." Beckett let her hands rest on his chest.

"I'm not complaining." He bent his head down and kissed her on the lips.

He pulled back slowly but she pulled him back in. Beckett's mind was racing and Castle was trying to control himself but was finding it hard. His hands resting tightly on the small of her back. Beckett starting undoing the buttons on his shirt and this pushed Castle into over drive. He picked Beckett up and she wrapped her legs around his middle. They hit against the wall but didn't break away from kissing. They stayed pinned against it as Beckett's hands slid up Castle's bare chest, slightly digging in her nails which made him groan. His spare hand was clasping the small of her neck. He broke away from her lips and kissed all down her neck. He shifted her weight to his other arm and slid his hand under her shirt, stopping and slightly cupped her breast. Beckett bit her bottom lip when he kissed her collarbone slightly sucking on her skin with the remainder of his kiss.

Beckett's phone started to ring and they broke apart, finding breathing difficult. Castle let Beckett down and she answered. Castle leaned against the wall, his hand over his mouth.

"There's another one boss. A young woman with the same ammo. Got a call from the 18th, they knew it would be connected." Ryan said down the phone.

"Another?" Beckett breathed out and closed her eyes. Her breath wasn't steady at all. Castle looked confused but didn't say anything incase Ryan heard him.

"I'll be right there."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three.

Castle did the buttons back up on his shirt and Beckett straightened her hair out.

"I think this is the least excited I've been about a murder." Castle said closing the door behind Beckett. She never got excited like Castle did about a body showing up but she knew why he did. He was still excited for the story behind it and the thrill of the chase. She just wanted the why, the who and the how so she could find justice and closure for the family. Although she had to admit, having Castle around made the job more fun.

-x-

"You two are car pooling together now?" Lanie asked smiling as Beckett and Castle arrived at the scene. Beckett smiled under her breath and knelt down to the body, completely ignoring her question.

"She's young." Beckett said.

"Early twenties I'm guessing. She doesn't have any ID, same size caliber as the other two which is a .38. She is wearing the same gown and No fibers or DNA that I've found yet. Body has been moved like the other two."

Beckett stood back up. This was a blind alley and it was late. Chances are no one saw someone drop the vic off and There were no tread marks or lights. There was nothing.

"We searched the canvas Beckett. No one heard or saw anything. Oh hey Castle, didn't think you were coming?" Ryan said holding his notebook open, which was blank.

"Uhh yeah." Was all Castle managed to get out, scared he'd say something wrong and the cover would be blown. He could hear Lanie giggling under her breath.

"Just got a call from the lab. Gowns are from an old private hospital in the 1960's. It's an vacant office building now. That's it from the lab. They found no fibers, foreign DNA, nothing." Esposito said quite defeated.

"CIA?" Castle asked which made Beckett, Esposito and Ryan all roll their eyes.

"Or not." Casle added after seeing their faces.

"What I don't get is that there is no fibers. No way of tracing them and no ID and yet the bodies are all in public. It doesn't add up" Beckett was staring at the brick wall of the alley when she was talking. She was talking to the guys but also to herself. Some times saying things out loud made it easier to understand.

Ryan rubbed his eyes. It was well past midnight. The CSU were still doing their sweep and the team had no more leads than before.

"I'll take her back to the morgue. Hopefully she can give us some answers." Lanie was tired as well. They all were.

"Ok. Well I guess we'll pick it back up in the morning. Hopefully CSU will have found something for us by then. Night guys." Beckett began walking back into the street with Castle close behind. Her mind buzzing about this case.

"Beckett. Wait." Castle called, almost running to catch up. Even in heels, she could walk faster than him. Beckett stopped and spun around.

"Yeah?" You could hear the tiredness in her voice.

"Oh I was just going to ask if you wanted me to come back with you...or not?" Castle asked weary of the answer.

"You go home. I'll see you tomorrow ok? This case needs to be cracked open a bit more and we all need fresh eyes." Beckett was upset at her decision as soon as she said it. She knew this case needed her attention more than she needed Castle's, but it was horrible to say. Castle nodded in agreement though.

Castle took Beckett's hands out of her coat pockets. When his cold hands touched hers it gave her a fright but he held on tight. He could see her breath when she breathed out. They were silent. He placed her hands on his chest and pulled her close to him resting his hands on her hips. Her head nestled into his chest. She could feel the heat from him and she wanted him to come home with her. She didn't want to leave him. It was only one night and she would see him in less than 8 hours but it seemed so long to wait. He kissed her on the top of her head. She pulled away and didn't look back. She could imagine his face. But she knew that this case had to take first priority.

-x-

Beckett crawled into bed exhausted from thinking about this case. 2.30am and yet she was wide awake. She rolled over to the other side of the bed and she could smell Castle. It was such a familiar smell and she didn't realize how amazing it was until now. It had always drawn her into him but now it was different. It felt new and special. Beckett closed her eyes and thought about the time when her bed would always smell like him.

-x-

"Get much sleep?" Castle asked her handing her a coffee. She nodded still staring at the murder board. He sat on the desk, closer to her than usual. He could feel her leg against his.

Esposito and Ryan joined them and they all stared at the board. None of them knowing anything new.

"Lanie rung saying she had found a hair found in the vic's ear. She's sent it through to the lab. The victim wasn't missing any organs either." Beckett said not taking her eyes away from the board.

Beckett stood up moving closer to the board hoping if she got closer it would make something click.

"Was she tattooed?" Ryan asked.

"5." Beckett answered. She saw Castle's eyes read over the board. He had an idea but he wasn't ready to share it with the class yet and she knew it.

Esposito's phone rung which brought them all out of their gaze. "The hair is a match for Miles Jenkins, a married doctor in Manhattan."

"Doctor? Well they were all found in gowns. They had professional incisions. Pick him up." Beckett raised an eyebrow.

Ryan and Esposito nodded and walked out of the 12th. Castle was still sitting on the desk looking at the board.

"What are you thinking?" Beckett asked almost straddling one of Castle's legs but being careful at the same time not to draw too much attention to them. Castle didn't look away from the board.

"A hair found on the vic? that's it? Surely you would be more careful after already dumping two other bodies." Castle was frowning.

"People stuff up Castle." Beckett shrugged her shoulders.

"It wouldn't be the way I would write it. The guy is meticulous; he isn't stupid enough to leave a hair. I'm not buying that it's this guy." Castle finally looked at Beckett. His leg in between hers, he couldn't feel the touch but my god did he know it was there.

-x-

"You're not going to like this boss." Ryan said before Beckett could get in the interrogation room. Beckett rolled her eyes.

"Why?"

Ryan held out his hand towards the door. "I'll let you see for yourself."

Beckett walked into the interrogation room. Miles Jenkins didn't even look up to her. He stared right into the mirror which Esposito, Ryan and Castle all stood behind.

"Mr. Jenkins, Have my detectives told you why you're here?" Beckett asked coldly.

"Yes, they informed me there has been three murders, one in which my hair was left on the body. I can assure you, I did not kill them." Jenkins said not taking his eyes off the mirror.

"And how can we be so sure? You've got medical training. They had medical incisions. Fits quite nicely." Beckett placed photos of the victims in front of Jenkins. He broke his stare and looked at all three of them not wincing once at the photos.

"I've worked 90 hours this past week Detective. The rest of my hours are spent in the on call rooms trying to get some sleep or on the phone to my nagging wife wanting me to come home. I have barely left the hospital at all. I can assure you, my alibi will check out. If there isn't anything else, I would like to go. I have a craniotomy in two hours I need to prep for." There was a sourness in his tone that Beckett couldn't stand.

"We'll be checking your alibi Mr. Jenkins and will be in touch." Beckett showed him to the door as he smoothed out his expensive suit. There was nothing she could keep him on until they checked his alibi.

"You're letting him go?" Castle asked as soon as Jenkins was out of ear reach.

"Come on Castle, look at the signs. You pointed it out. It fits too conveniently." She turned to Ryan and Esposito. "I want his alibi checked before he steps back into that hospital. It has to be rock solid, if not bring him straight back. I want his financials, phone calls, everything. What hospital does he work at?" Beckett asked as they all walked back towards her desk.

Nor Ryan or Esposito looked up from their notebooks. Neither of them answered.

"What hospital?" Beckett asked again slightly annoyed at being ignored.

"New York Presbyterian" Ryan answered quietly.

Beckett's heart skipped a beat. She almost skipped a step as well. She turned to look at the boys but not daring to look at Castle.

"Ask around about Jenkins. Someone must have something to say." Beckett tried not to let the feeling she had in her stomach show on her face but she knew they all would see it.

Ryan and Esposito quietly walked away. Beckett didn't want to look at Castle.

"Are you ok?" Castle asked knowing she would shut this whole thing down.

"I'm fine." She answered quickly filling out a warrant for the Doctor's phone and financials.

"Kate, we can talk about it." Castle asked resting his hand next to hers on her desk with his pinky finger lightly touching hers.

"Castle, I said I am fine." Beckett lied moving her hand away.

Beckett's mind was racing a million miles a minute. She couldn't think with Castle right there, waiting for her to break down. Could she remember Josh ever talking about a work colleague called Miles Jenkins? Was he the one that operated on her after she was shot? New York Presbyterian had ties to Beckett and she didn't like it at all.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four.

Castle left Beckett staring at her computer. He couldn't face the silence any longer. He knew this would eventually come up. The shooting and Josh. He was watching Beckett through the window when Ryan and Esposito walked in.

"What you looking at?" Esposito asked knowing exactly what was going through Castle's mind.

Castle didn't answer.

Beckett could feel eyes on her so she joined the group in the break room.

"Jenkins alibis out. He's clocked in at the hospital during every body dump. Security camera confirms it. He's not our guy." Ryan said flatly.

"We asked around about him though. He's got a rep for being a jerk but that's it."

"We saw Josh as well." Ryan added, knowing as soon as he said it, it was a mistake. Somehow saying his name out loud took Beckett back.

"He says Hi." Ryan just kept saying the wrong thing. Esposito was eye balling him as well.

"Ok. Nothing popped in his financials or phone calls. He must have come into contact with the killer at some stage. Check all the employees at the hospital. Someone might pop. I'm going to see Lanie to see if she has anything new."

As she walked away Esposito smacked the back or Ryan's head.

Castle let Beckett go alone. He didn't want to crowd her.

-x-

"Hey girl." Lanie said when Beckett walked in. "No Castle today?" she asked.

"He stayed behind."

"Mmhmm. Javier told me about the link to the hospital. Have you seen Josh yet?" Lanie didn't want to ask but she knew that Beckett needed to talk about it, whether she wanted to or not.

"Not since I left the hospital, no." Beckett was fiddling with tools on a tray.

"What happened then?" Lanie asked.

"I told him that I didn't want to be in a relationship. That with the Captain, getting shot and having someone after me, I needed time to think about what I wanted." Beckett answered.

"And you wanted Castle?"

"Lanie, please, I didn't expect to fall into bed with him right away but now I feel horrible for being happy about it. Josh was good for me, he cared about me and I let him down. What's worse is that I promised myself it wasn't about Castle." Beckett didn't even bother looking at Lanie, she knew what her face would be like.

"You can't help what happened Kate. I think you both deserve a medal for how long you lasted apart. Honestly that tension." Lanie smiled which made Beckett smile.

"I didn't want to put Josh in harms way with this guy after me and I've done it to Castle. He has a family and I'm being selfish because I want him. It's not fair for him." Beckett had her hands on her face, she was trying not to get emotional.

"Kate, this isn't the first time Castle has stood in harms way for you. It's his decision and you can't change it. Let him be there for you. Trust him." Lanie always said the right thing.

Beckett sighed. She knew she was right.

"Ok. Tell me what you've got then."

"I noticed that both Jane-Does had similar facial structure so on the off chance, I compared their DNA. It matched. They are Mother and Daughter."

Beckett's eyes grew wider.

"So I thought what the hell, I'll check John-Does DNA as well. It doesn't match the other two but the woman and man both had the same stomach contents but the young female didn't."

Beckett closed her eyes. What was going on? This case was more confusing than ever.

"I'll get Esposito and Ryan to run down birth dates from her tattoo, maybe we'll get lucky and find out who they are. Thanks Lanie."

-x-

Beckett rung the guys and explained what Lanie had found. She told them to run the tattoo date and she was going to go to the hospital to talk to the employees. She told Ryan to tell Castle she would see him tomorrow.

Beckett sat in her car looking at the hospital for a while. She wasn't sure why she couldn't go in.

Beckett walked into the hospital and the familiar smell of disinfectant hit her. She remembered she hated it when she first started dating Josh but it grew to be a good smell. It was busy. Nurses were rushing around and Beckett thought back to when she was being wheeled into the hospital. She was in and out of consciousness, the lights on the ceiling rushing past. She could remember Castle holding her hand. She could remember not wanting him to let go. She could remember Josh being there as well, on the other side of her bed. She wondered if he was mad about her holding Castle's hand. Another light flashed by, there were so bright. Her eyes were heavy and she felt herself letting go. Castle's hand was squeezing her hand tight. "Kate. Kate. No keep your eyes open. Come on Kate." She opened her eyes again. She could see blood all over Castle. It was her blood. Another light flashed by. She felt Castle hand slip away and she opened her eyes. She saw Josh nod at Castle and then she closed her eyes again.

"Kate. Hi." She turned around to see Josh standing there. He looked good. Better than the last time she saw him. She turned back and looked back at the doors that separated her and Castle and then back at Josh.

"Hey." She smiled. "Uhh…" A nurse quickly ran in between the two of them. "I wanted to ask a few questions about…." She could hear screaming from one of the curtained off rooms. She tensed up. This was harder than she thought.

"Come with me." Josh took hold of her arm and pulled her down a corridor. He opened the door and she walked in. "Gets a little crazy out there this time of night."

It was nighttime? When had that happened?

"Miles Jenkins. Tell me everything you know." Beckett asked.

"Straight to the point you are." Josh told Beckett everything he knew. It was the same feedback that Ryan and Esposito got earlier. He clearly wasn't the guy, but she already knew that.

"These victims had medical incisions Josh, one was found with his hair on them. It must be someone inside the hospital. That's my only guess." She trusted Josh with this information.

"There are a heap of doctors and nurses here Kate. If I see one of them cutting out organs that they aren't suppose to, you'll be the first person I tell. I promise."

Beckett smiled. Josh always managed to get a smile out of her at the worst of times.

"So how have you been?" Josh asked.

"Good. I've been good. Working, you know the usual." Beckett answered, not letting anything slip about Castle.

"How's Rick?" Josh asked, his tone different. She didn't expect him to be so blunt about him.

"Yeah, he's good."

"Listen Kate. I know that you needed space and all. I know what happened to you was a big deal but don't lose out on everything because of it. You and Rick, I don't know, have something. Don't waste anymore time." Josh got to his feet. "Ring me if you need anymore help with the case." And with that, he walked out the door.

Beckett sat there stunned. Had she been that transparent? This whole time, did he know? She shook it off. She wanted to get out of there fast.

-x-

Castle stared his laptop for over an hour. The cursor just blinking at him. He wanted to call Beckett but he knew he couldn't. Nikki Heat was getting nowhere either.

"Hey Dad, Dad?...Dad?" Alexis was standing at the door. Castle hadn't even realized.

"Sorry what? I was thinking."

"I was just going to tell you I was home and sorry for being late. I was out with Ashley. What's up with you?" Alexis had her arms folded. She knew exactly when something was wrong with him.

"Nothing, I'm fine." Castle smiled and pushed his chair out. "What is the time?" Castle asked.

"Around 10.30pm, I think." Alexis shrugged her shoulders and gave Castle a kiss on the cheek.

"It's a school night Alexis, I expect you to be home no earlier than midnight. You know that." Castle said smiling.

"Seriously Dad. I'm going to bed." Alexis rolled her eyes turning away from him. "You look like you need to as well."

Castle considered it but he wondered what Beckett was doing. He thought about going over to her apartment but he thought better of it and went back into his study. He would bash out another chapter for Nikki Heat before Gina starting hounding him again.

Castle's phone rang a little after 11pm. It was Beckett.

"Castle." He answered trying to sound as normal as possible.

"It's Beckett. Ryan and Esposito managed to track down the victims through a birth certificate because of her tattoo. We've got ID's on all three victims."

"All three? But how did you identify the John-Doe. He wasn't related to them?" Castle asked.

"He was married to the woman. They are a family Castle."

-x-

"What no coffee Castle?" Beckett asked when Castle arrived.

"Sorry, I didn't even think."

"Relax Castle, we're waiting on Ryan and Esposito, they're pulling up everything on the victims." Beckett smiled at Castle who was standing at arms length away.

"Listen Castle, I know I've been…"

"Yo Boss, we got everything on them." Esposito interrupted Beckett as he walked into the meet room holding a box, Ryan close behind.

They followed the boys in and the team went over papers, clicked through financials and scrolled over phone records.

"Simone and Patrick Weatherly. They were married in 2003. He adopted her daughter Lila in 2004. He was a lawyer. Simone didn't work. Lila was in her third year at NYU studying English. They have an apartment on E. 6th Street. We've got a warrant coming in the morning."

Esposito turned to Ryan who added to the plot.

"Nothing popped in their financials either. They were living a normal life Beckett. There is nothing here."

Beckett put her head in her hands. This case was beginning to become aggravating now.

"Ok, call their next of kin or family in the morning and tell them to come in to be interviewed. Castle and I will meet at their apartment in the morning to see if we can find anything. Someone had to know something. Call the girls biological Father as well, just in case"

Both Ryan and Esposito nodded and left Castle sitting in there with Beckett. They both sat in silence for a bit, thinking deeply about the case. Castle stood up and stood behind Beckett.

"Come on, you're going home." He had his hands on Beckett's shoulders and pulled up her. She didn't even bother fighting it. They walked out the precinct together. Beckett's hands were tightly wrapped up in her coat when they got outside.

They stopped and looked at each other. Neither wanting to leave each other.

"I would suggest that you come home with me but I'm not sure my Mother or Alexis would appreciate finding out about the two us by finding you in the bathroom tomorrow morning" Castle leant against the wall of the building.

Beckett nodded. Sometimes she forgot Castle had this family life. She wondered what it would be like to go home to Castle's loft and it not be about work. She walked closer to Castle. Officers were walking in and out of the 12th not even looking twice at the two of them. She didn't even care anymore if they did.

She put her hands inside his jacket and looked up to him. His arms were hanging loose around her waist. "I'll see you in the morning then?" The lights made her eyes sparkle. Castle made a note to never forget that image of the the green in her eyes sparking in the cold air. She went to move away but Castle tightened his grip on her.

"I don't want to spend tonight apart." He said, hoping he didn't sound like too much of a child.

"We're going to be up early Castle, this case needs our full attention."

"Slumber party then. No funny business."

She pulled her hand out and took his hand in her own. "Fine, but I sleep with my gun Castle. Be warned." She rested her head on his shoulder and they began the walk back to Beckett's apartment.

-x-

Castle was already in bed when Beckett walked into her bedroom. He was propped up the pillow reading the paper.

"Seriously Castle. You're reading the paper? Looking for yourself on page six?" she asked flirty.

"I haven't had a chance to read it yet and no I am not, thank you very much." He shot a smirk at her over the top of the paper. She was wearing just a nightshirt. Her legs completely exposed. He closed his eyes. She had this power over him that he couldn't explain. She pulled the paper out of his hands. He covered his eyes with his hands, smiling.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"You said no funny business and then wear that. Beckett come on."

Beckett pulled herself up and sat on Castle's lap. She took his hands away but he still wouldn't open his eyes. She let his hands drop and they soon found her bare thighs. She kissed along his jaw line; she could feel his unshaven skin on her lips. His hands moved up her back, underneath her shirt. Her back arched slightly with his touch and her hands rested on his shoulders. Without opening his eyes he found Beckett's lips and this past day they had been starved of each other's kiss. They broke into a full kiss. He couldn't get over her taste. Beckett pulled his shirt hard and he gave in, she pulled him down on top of her without breaking from their kiss. Her hands under his shirt, rubbing her fingers down his back. He broke from the kiss and looked right into Beckett's eyes.

"Have you ever been to a slumber party before? I'm pretty sure this isn't suppose to happen." Castle said moving the hair from her face.

"You clearly didn't go the ones that I went to then." Beckett smiled pulling Castle back down. "One more kiss?" She asked.

"And then we have a pillow fight?" Castle didn't wait for Beckett to even smile before he kissed her again, this time a more passionate kiss than before. A goodnight kiss.

Beckett fit perfectly next to Castle. His arm safely wrapped around her middle. She closed her eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Beckett woke suddenly. Was it all a dream? She rolled over and stretched out her arm to find nothing. The other side of the bed was cold. She sat up confused, her curled hair falling around her. Castle was gone. She fell back onto the pillow he had slept on and the smell of him almost suffocated her. She walked around her apartment wondering why Castle wasn't there. There was no note, no phone call, no message. She sighed as she went back to her room to get ready for work.

-x-

She arrived at the Weatherly's apartment a little after 9am. Castle was nowhere to be seen so she decided to concentrate on the case instead of wondering about him. She went over all of the family belongings with the CSU team. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary or missing. Lila's room seemed like a typical room for a college kid still living at home. Fridge was stocked full of food.

"Detective Beckett. Over here." One of the people from CSU was holding up a sheet of paper. He handed it to her. It was a medical bill from New York Presbyterian. This is it; this was the link to Miles Jenkins.

"Ryan, It's Beckett. Pick up Jenkins again. We've got a tie to him now."

-x

Beckett pushed the piece of paper towards Miles Jenkins in the interrogation room and he barely glanced away from the mirror. He was ice cold.

"Mr. Jenkins, the people that were murdered. Patrick and Simone Weatherly and their laughter Lila, well this was found in their apartment. It's a bill from New York Presbyterian. Would you look at the photos again? Just in case you may have forgotten that you had seen them?" Beckett used her teasing voice. It helped her get what she wanted from people like Miles Jenkins.

He half smiled at her and glanced over the bill.

"This is for the hospice part of the hospital. I am a brain surgeon. If you put the two together, they don't add up Detective Beckett." He had a foul sounding hiss at the end of his sentences.

"So you can't go over to that side of the hospital then?" Beckett asked him not changing her facial expression.

"Anyone can. But I tend to not go over to that side. It's awfully depressing." He waved his hand in the air, flashing a Rolex watch that would cost more than Beckett would make in a year.

"But our killer must have crossed paths between the hospice and your department, Mr. Jenkins, you see where I am going?"

"Listen Detective Beckett, you can ask as many questions as you would like, but I stand next to people in elevators throughout the day. I eat at the hospital cafeteria, departments share scanning equipment. Unless you have something more solid to hold me on, I will be leaving now."

There was just no use. He was a rude and beyond patronizing but he didn't seem like the guy to kill three people and have the chance of ruining his thousand dollar suit.

-x-

"Yo Beckett, we searched everyone from the Weatherly life. No one came up. Apart from his workmates, who barely knew the guy and said he kept to himself. They were ghosts. Lila's lecturers barely recognized her." Esposito said as he sat next to Beckett who was looking at the murder board.

"So let me get this straight. We have three victims. Gun shot wounds to the head, hospital gowns, UV numbers tattoos on their feet, They have organs missing and no family, they were recluses, had a bill for a hospice visit and we have no idea who killed them. Great." Beckett breathed out looking from Ryan to Esposito hoping one of them would pick up on something.

"Hospice?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"Well you only really go there for palliative care right?" Ryan looked at Beckett. "So they must have known someone who was really ill?"

Beckett smiled at Ryan. That was the break they needed.

"Road trip." She said picking up her keys, raising one eyebrow.

-x-

Walking down the corridors of the hospital Beckett could feel Esposito and Ryan sharing glances at each other. She liked that they were worried about her being back here, with everything that happened in these walls, she knew it was equally as hard for them as it is for her. Sure, she was the one who got shot but they were the ones who had to deal with the aftermath of it all right after Captain died. She was unconscious for all of it and they had to deal with it. Seemed so unfair when she thought about it now.

"Next left." Ryan said pointing up head.

The three of them turned into the hospice ward. It was eerily quiet and white. It was almost like they walked inside a bubble and left the mad rush of the hospital behind them.

"Excuse me, could I ask a few questions?" Beckett flashed her badge at one of the nurses in the station. She nodded and pointed towards the break room. They all followed.

"Yes?" She asked. She had a calming voice, almost hypnotizing.

"We're working a triple murder. There are connections to this hospital, including this invoice that was at the apartment of the deceased. Could you shed some light on the patient please?"

The lady took the paper from Beckett and glanced down.

"Ah yes. Becky Weatherly was a patient in this ward. But she had to be moved; unfortunately she never regained consciousness after a terrible accident. She is now in Ward three. They care for patients with brain damage and coma patients." She handed back the piece of paper and excused herself.

"Becky Weatherly? You said there was no more members of the family?" Beckett directed at Ryan and Esposito.

"There isn't. We checked everything. No Becky is tied to them at all. Certainly not family ties."

All three of them stood there even more confused than before. "There is something about this case, I can't seem to put my finger on." Beckett said, as the pain in her head became pressing.

"Ok. Go back to the 12th and look over everything again for Becky Weatherly. I'll go to ward three and she is she it still there."

Ryan and Esposito both hesitated before leaving.

"Go. I'm fine." Beckett smiled at them both and made her way out of the break room. She overheard them when she walked up the stairs.

"Sometimes I think she is safer with Castle. Where is he?"

Esposito laughed. "Yeah, he'd make a pretty good shield. Come on bro."

Ryan shook his head looking at the ground as they turned the corner out of view of Beckett.

She had forgotten about this morning and about Castle had disappeared. She glanced at her phone. No messages or missed calls. She put it to the back of her mind and set off to ward three.

-x-

"Excuse me, I was wondering if you could help me. I'm looking for Becky Weatherly?" Beckett asked one of the nurses.

"Oh. I'm sorry. Her family took her off life support two days ago. The funeral director picked her body up from the morgue to prepare for her funeral." The nurse said as she looked over another chart.

Beckett must have looked startled because the nurse's facial expression changed.

"Why?" she asked.

Beckett handed her the file containing the pictures of Simon, Patrick and Lila from the crime scenes. The nurse looked shocked.

"These are her family members. But, they, when did this happen?" She asked.

"Before Becky was taken off life support." Beckett answered.

"I'll need to see the files for her life support being turned off and the funeral directors they had come pick her up."

The nurse hurried off, with her hand covering her mouth. She picked up her phone to call Ryan and Esposito when she the nurse came back, faster than she expected.

"Here you go Detective." The nurse handed Beckett the files.

"Thank you for your help." Beckett smiled to the nurse before heading out of the ward.

-x-

"Where are we?" Beckett asked walking over to Ryan's desk.

"We searched for a Becky Weatherly. No matches. We did find a Rebecca Connor. Which is also happens to be Simone Weatherly's maiden name. She is 27 years old. Patrick Weatherly never officially adopted her because she was too old but she took his name when Lila was adopted. She has a sealed record; Esposito is on the phone to a judge to get a warrant to unseal it now."

"We should have the records in a few hours." Esposito said joining the group.

Beckett handed the boys the file the nurse gave her and told them what she knew. They all sat there silently for a minute at the thought of this entire family being dead.

"So, they were dead before she was taken off life support?" Ryan asked.

Beckett nodded.

"This case. Honestly." Esposito was looking out into the break room.

"Right. You check the life support notes and I'll run down the funeral directors. Maybe our warrant will come in early."

-x

Beckett called the funeral directors that was listed on the folder but it line went dead. She rung again and it disconnected again. She searched them online and nothing came back when her phone rung.

"Beckett." She answered still reading over the notes.

"It's me."

She stopped reading.

"I'm really sorry about this morning." She could hear muffled noises in the background and then silence. "Alexis rung me early saying she woke up with a bad stomachache and I wasn't home. She didn't know where I was; I had to rush home, that's why I didn't wake you. I planned on ringing you as soon as I got home but Alexis was more sick than I thought and I never got to it."

When he rung her his voice always made her need to see him. Made the need for him greater and this was no exception. She didn't say anything.

"Kate, I'm sorry. I am."

Whenever he used her first name it became so personal, pulled her into him.

"It's fine Castle. We've had some breaks in the case." Beckett said looking up at the murder board.

"Kate, I didn't ring about the case." Castle sounded different, he sounded pressing and urgent.

"Well I'm at work Castle."

"Come around when you're finished then. We can go over what you found." Castle asked knowing she probably wouldn't.

Beckett thought about it. She wanted to see him and with Alexis sick, it wasn't an excuse he used just to get out of her apartment.

"Yeah. Maybe." Beckett put the phone down, slightly defeated in herself that she could no longer keep herself at arms length from Castle.

She sat at her desk trying the number for another hour before she gave up.

"I'm going to go talk to Castle about the case. He's at home with Alexis. She's sick. Where did you get with the lift support?"

"It's signed off by Miles Jenkins. Surprise, Surprise." Ryan looked up at Beckett with a sly smile. "We just rung the hospital and he's just gone into a thirteen hour brain surgery so we've got officers there to pick him up when he's done and haul him back in. How about the funeral directors?"

"Call is dropping. I've put a trace on them. Hopefully it'll come on soon. I'll ring you if Castle discovers anything." Beckett rolled her eyes at Ryan, who laughed.

"Ring you when the warrant and Jenkins gets in."

She waved him off and walked to the elevator.

-x-

Beckett stood in Castle's corridor for a good five minutes before she grew the courage to go inside. She knocked quietly.

"Kate, hello!" Martha opened the door and ushered Beckett inside.

"Hi." Beckett managed to get out before she was being dragged into the loft.

"Richard, look who I found." She said to Castle who was on the couch with Alexis.

"Beckett. Hi." Castle looked surprised to see Beckett.

"I just wanted to bring you these. You can go over them. If anything pops, call me." She sounded like such a fool in her head. Last night they fell asleep together entwined in each other's bodies and now she was acting like they barely knew each other. It seemed so ridiculous. She put the file down on the coffee table and looked at Alexis.

"I hope you feel better." And smiled at Martha and turned to leave.

"Beckett, no stay. Alexis needs her rest and I need some beauty sleep. You two can talk." Martha beckoned to Alexis who sat up.

"No. No. Please it's fine. I'm going to head back to the precinct. I just wanted to give these to Castle." But before she could say anymore Castle gave Alexis a kiss on the cheek and they were walking upstairs.

Castle got to his feet.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ruin…" But Castle cut Beckett off.

"You didn't ruin anything." He smiled. "Have you eaten?" Castle asked. Beckett didn't even know what the time was and couldn't remember the last time she ate.

"No, I haven't." Castle walked behind Beckett brushing his hand across her back and pushing her towards the kitchen.

"Now go and sit. I'll grab the files."

She sat on the barstool and Castle came up behind her. He put his hands on her upper arms, and with one hand moved her hair out of the way. He leaned around and gently kissed her lower neck.

"I missed you." He said before kissing just below her ear.

Beckett struggled to keep her breathing in check. Castle's lips lingered on her neck.

Castle took Beckett's face in his hands and turned it towards his. Very slowly he moved in closer before finally kissing her on the lips. His lips were hot against hers but he pulled back.

"So what do you want? Pasta? Pizza? Take out?" Castle said walking to the kitchen.

Beckett let go of her breath. She couldn't even speak.

She watched him get stuff out from the fridge. She didn't even bother with asking him what he was cooking. She didn't really care. He looked up at her, smiled and raised one eyebrow.

"Finding it difficult to breath Detective Beckett? I do have that effect on people" he couldn't help himself. "So tell me everything new about this case."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six.

The four of them were standing around the murder board when two uniforms brought in Jenkins, once again. His face was pained and his lips cursed.

"You two go in there and rile him up. I'm not going to get anything out of him at this point." Beckett told Ryan and Esposito.

Castle and Beckett stood behind the glass. "I've never seen you back down from an interrogation before." Castle said not taking his eyes off Jenkins.

"Got to know when you can win and loose your battles Castle, he thinks he is superior to me. I'm not going to crack him like these two can." Beckett was looking up at Castle. He looked tired and his eyes were sleepy. He barely noticed when she took his hand.

"Everything ok?" She asked.

He looked down, this was a grand gesture for Beckett, holding his hand in the precinct, where people could catch them.

"Think I might be getting what Alexis had." He shook his hand away from Beckett's and put it inside his pocket.

Beckett looked back into the integration room where Ryan and Esposito were siting across the table from Jenkins.

-x-

"So we found Becky Weatherly's form from her life support termination and your signature is on it. Care to explain?" Esposito was leaning over the table, clearly getting into Jenkins space.

Jenkins picked up the piece of paper and studied it for a moment.

"Yes. You're right, I did sign that." He said coolly looking at his watch.

"What I don't get is that we bring you in here, time and time again and you just waste our time. Tell us why you killed them?" Esposito was playing bad cop.

Jenkins simply laughed into Esposito's face, which he didn't approve of by the look on his face.

"It was a favor for her Father, I believe. He wanted a proper religious burial or something." He shrugged his shoulders and flattened out his suit.

"So you're telling us that you signed off a death certificate for a 'religious burial or something'?" Ryan chimed in. "To her Father, that was murdered before this was signed off?"

"That doesn't add up does it Detective Esposito." Ryan smiled at Esposito waiting for him to take the bait.

"So why did you do it then?" Esposito leaned over close to Jenkins, only an inch from his face. "Huh?"

Jenkins barely flinched.

"Her actual biological father came in, saying all the family was dead and it was his right to bury his daughter. I was consulting on the ward, and overheard. I signed off because we're short staffed."

"Oh that was nice of you, wasn't it? We might have to go verify that, as your information seems to never add up." Both Esposito and Ryan walked out of the interrogation room. not letting Jenkins know they were missing a vital piece of the puzzle.

-x-

"What the hell?" Esposito said as he got outside to meet Castle and Beckett.

Beckett was shaking her head and Castle looked puzzled.

"We checked out her biological father, he's dropped off the face of the earth but somehow knows that his child, ex-wife and her husband are all conveniently dead and he wants to bury his other daughter." Ryan sounded like he was saying riddles, none of it was making sense.

"What was in her sealed records?" Castle asked remembering that Beckett hadn't brought them up at his loft, the night before.

"Haven't come back yet, on account we can't actually get in contact with the funeral directors that picked her up." Beckett said putting her hand to her forehead.

"So we've basically got a triple murder and a lost dead body?" Ryan said out loud not helping the mood.

Castle sat back down in his chair. "It can't have been Jenkins because we have him on video inside the hospital in surgeries, when the murders were taking place. But he has to be involved because he keeps showing up all over the place." Castle cleared his throat.

"Call the judge and get a hurry on those records. We need them right now to get anywhere and keep him in there, let him sweat it out." Beckett said to Ryan and Esposito.

She picked up her phone and dialed the number for the funeral directors again. Nothing. She rung through to IT to see if they managed to put a trace on the number yet. She was talking down the phone to them when Castle casually got up and walked into the break room.

-x-

"IT can't get a trace because it doesn't exist. There is no funeral directors with that name or address in the state of New York. It's a fake business." Beckett told Castle who was making coffee.

"Who would go to the effort of making a fake business up to steal a comatose patient after killing her entire family?" Castle replied to Beckett's previous statement and handed her a cup of hot coffee, his hand brushed hers and she looked up at Castle.

"Is there anything wrong between us?" She asked. Everything had seemed fine the night before. He had cooked her dinner and they discussed the case whilst cuddling on the couch with a glass of wine. But today, Castle seemed distracted from her, his attention was on the case, which she was grateful for because she needed his logical thinking but she was elsewhere on his mind.

"Alexis just talked about colleges again this morning. Looking at one in California."

Beckett could tell that Castle was upset by the thought of loosing Alexis. She could tell that their relationship was special and that she was his main priority.

"Well, I'm sure it's a good school." Beckett said knowing this was going to land her in trouble.

"It's across the country Kate. You don't understand." He used her name so sharply, it hit hard.

"I'm not trying to make it worse but Alexis has her head screwed on. Shel'l pick the best school for her and that may well be across the country." Beckett moved closer to Castle but he backed away.

"You're not helping." he said before walking out of the break room and over to Ryan and Esposito who were calling from them.

-x-

"What's up?" Beckett asked joining Castle's side without the Esposito and Ryan knowing about what just happened.

"We got the warrant. Rebecca Connor was involved in a car accident when she was 8 years old in Pennsylvania. Her Father, William Connor was behind the wheel. He was tried and convicted for causing bodily harm under the influence of alcohol. Simone divorced him and moved the girls out of state as he kept trying for visitation rights to see his kids. Rebecca regained most of her function in her upper body and continued to live a normal life until early 2009 when she fell down a flight of stairs at a college party and crushed her vertebrae causing her to slip into a coma." Ryan looked from Esposito to Beckett.

"What happened to William Connor?" Beckett asked.

"Got released from Pennsylvania State Prison in early 2010 and has been in and out of welfare homes and state rehab centers." Ryan answered. "His last known whereabouts are a halfway house in the Bronx and a laundromat where he works. Should we go pick him up?"

Beckett nodded and the boys got up to leave.

"This is our only lead in the case now. Make it count."

Beckett turned to face Castle but he wouldn't look at her. He was glancing at the murder board but she could tell him mind was on Alexis.

"What do you think the motif behind the Dad was? Revenge on the ex-wife for taking his kids away?" Beckett asked.

"We'll have to wait and see." Castle said in a careless tone, he was behaving like a child and it bugged Beckett.

"Jeez Castle, I only told you that she _might _ go to a school away from New York. Why you putting this all on me?" Beckett put her hands on her hips, a tactical cop move that she did without thinking.

Castle said nothing and stood up.

"I'm really not feeling well. Ring me if the boys find Connor and update me."

"Rick." Beckett shook her head reaching for his arm but he was already at arms length away. She watched him walk to the elevator and he didn't look back.

She slumped in her chair unsure if they just had their first couple fight or whether it would have happened if they were together or not.

-x-

"Yo Beckett, Look who we found." Beckett looked up over her case file at Ryan and Esposito and presumably what would be William Connor. She rose to her feet and made her way over to him.

It was well over an hour since Castle had left and Beckett couldn't stop checking her phone but now she had something else to concentrate on.

"Careful. Don't get too close." Ryan's face was screwed up in disgust and Beckett smelt the strong aroma of cheap bourbon and stale body odor coming from their suspect.

"Sit him down over there, right by the interrogation room." Beckett said and Esposito and Ryan knew exactly what she was doing.

She opened the door to Miles Jenkins, who had not moved in his seat and told him she was sorry for keeping him waiting and he was free to go. He rose to his feet and walked out of the room. He walked straight past William Connor, his face turned straight to disgust. They watched for him to recognize William but he continued walking, without a slight indication he knew who he was.

"Get a detail on him, we know he is lying. He just need more proof to get him." Beckett told Ryan who followed suite behind Jenkins.

"Now…let's get you into interrogation." Beckett said looking at William Connor.

-x-

Beckett held the file, that inside had copies of the images from the murders. She had to be careful about what she showed him and what cards she picked and played with him.

"Your ex-wife Simone, her husband Michael and your daughter Lila were all murdered this week Mr. Connor, can you tell us anything about the murders?" Beckett asked in a gentle tone.

He shook his head, his hands were shaking with the cold. He was barely recognizable from the image on his license from before he was incarcerated, but the tattoo of the love heart and letters across his fingers were a match for the prison database.

"Your other daughter, Rebecca. have you seen her lately?" Beckett asked keeping her voice calm.

He shook his head again.

"Has anyone mentioned anything to you about anyone from your family?"

He looked up and into Beckett's eyes, she didn't look away.

"Some punk kid gave me fifty dollars to sign a form to do with a hospital. Could have been about her. I don't know."

Beckett breathed out and looked down. Without knowing, Connor had signed his daughters life away for fifty dollars, which meant four of the cheapest bottles of brew.

"Can you spot me a twenty?" He asked before she got up to leave. She simply ignored his request and closed the door behind her.

"So let me get this straight, some kid made him sign the form to officially terminate his daughters life support and he was unaware of what he did?" Ryan looked baffled by what he had just said. They all did.

"I'm going to ring and update Castle." Ryan and Esposito both nodded and went to go finish the paperwork off regarding Connor.

She called his number and tried not to sound nervous.

After three rings, it went to voice mail. Beckett hung up.


	7. Chapter 7

**(So, I know this is taken awhile to get to you all and I apologize. I got some upsetting emails about the story and it put me off. This is my first fan fic and I have barely any idea what I'm doing. I also suffer from dyslexia so my spelling and sentence structure isn't the greatest. I was told to do this to help me improve it by a friend. All of you who have written reviews and been positive, I love you all, honestly. For those of that had subscribed to the story, thank you, it means a lot. Today we got snow in Christchurch, New Zealand. Something we haven't seen for three years so I spent the day going over previous chapters and correcting mistakes and writing four more chapters that I will release this week, all watching the snow. Hope the hiatus is seeing you all well. H. )**

Chapter Seven.

Beckett sat in her living room going over what had happened during the day. Castle's reaction to what she said was over the top and she was mad. She pulled a blanket over her legs and turned on the television.

Beckett was fast asleep, curled up on the couch when she heard a knock at her door. Without thinking she grabbed her gun and stood silently, getting her senses in check. She walked to the door quietly and opened it.

On the outside was Castle looking run down and drained. He saw the gun in her hand and looked up at her.

"Sorry I missed your call." Castle said looking back at the gun.

Beckett stepped away from the door, not inviting him in but not slamming the door in his face either.

She sat back down on the couch and put the gun away. Castle was halted in the doorway, unsure of what to do. Beckett pulled the blanket up over her again. Castle closed the door quietly and sat next down to Beckett.

"They found William Connor, He.." But Castle cut her off by putting his hand on her knee.

"I don't want to hear about the case just yet Kate." Him using her name was hard in these situations. It felt so personal and it felt like he couldn't make it light like he usually could.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you and was rude. It's just hard when I have to think about things like this. So much change has happened this year and I forget about dealing with it." Castle was being so open and honest, it was hard for Beckett to hear. "You and I, whatever this is, I like it. I do, but don't you feel like we've been hit and miss?" Castle's voice went quieter at the end of the sentence.

Beckett didn't even know how to reply, she didn't even know what to think. She was playing with her hands for something to focus on when Castle took them.

"I'm being serious here Kate, what are we doing?" Beckett pulled her hands away from Castle and stood up.

"I don't know." She had her back to Castle, trying to keep her emotions in check. He stood behind her, close but far enough to let her have space.

"What do you want this to be? We've come so far, it was stupid for us to think we didn't need ground rules or to talk about what would happen with cases and the 12th." Castle words were burning into Beckett's back.

Beckett faced Castle with an unsure look on her face and she had the same unsure reply. "I want this to feel right and right now, after today it doesn't" Was all she managed to get out before she shook her head. Castle was being so level headed and strong. She was being the opposite.

"What do you want?" She asked turning and facing Castle.

"I want you and I want 12th and I don't know if both will work. It's different now, it's different after the shooting."

Beckett's face changed to anger but Castle didn't back down. "You're different." He kept pushing.

"I got shot Rick, at my Captains funeral, in front of my family. That can change a person especially when someone is still after them." Beckett couldn't understand how he didn't think that could change her.

"You shake at night Kate, your whole body shakes and you talk in your sleep. You need to talk about it but you wont. You bottle it up." Castle's tone was distressing towards Beckett.

"So you don't want this because I'm damaged?" Beckett asked.

Castle looked at the ground. This wasn't the first time Beckett and him had been in an argument in her living room, there was another one, the day before the Captain died.

"I want you more than anything, but you need to open up about it and talk to someone Kate, because it will pull you under."

Beckett shook her head. "Don't be that person Rick." She was hurting inside and she didn't need him pushing against her so hard.

"Someone has to or you're not going to come out."

"Jeez Rick, this isn't a story you can write the end too. This is my life and it happened to me. I'll deal with it." Beckett had put up her walls and there was no way Castle could break them down easily.

"Don't be so stubborn." Castle's voice sounded hurt and annoyed at Beckett's jump to him being the bad guy.

"You should go, Rick." Beckett walked to the door without even looking at Castle.

"And the case?" He asked.

"We can handle it." Castle left without saying goodbye and Beckett closed the door and lent against it, wondering how the hell she had ended up there.

-x-

Beckett spent the morning looking at Castle's chair in the precinct. She couldn't believe at what had happened the night before. She went over the conversation in her head multiple times before she realized Ryan was standing in front of her desk.

"Yes?" she asked, probably a little more snarky than intended.

"I went over the visitor logs for Becky Weatherly's room and a name popped for Connor's description of the kid. Officers went to pick him up at the hospital but he made a run for it. Esposito is out helping look for him." Ryan relayed to Beckett, scared for her response.

"Any news on Jenkins?" Ryan asked Beckett to keep her mind on the case.

"Last nights patrol said he stayed at the hospital the entire night. Nothing out of the ordinary." Beckett said flatly.

Ryan nodded and handed her the rap sheet for Travis Ulder, the kid that matched the description. "Thanks." Beckett replied opening it straight away, not seeing Esposito walking through the doors.

"Yo Beckett, come meet Travis here." Esposito was holding onto the arm of the kid pretty tightly as he was struggling.

"Take him in with Ryan." Beckett wasn't in the right mindset to interrogate a suspect and Esposito had a certain charm with people like Travis.

-x-

Beckett stood alone in the viewing room waiting for the show. She remembered when Castle would always talk about having a popcorn maker in the precinct, she refused to let herself smile about it though.

"Why'd you run?" Ryan asked flat out as he walked in the room.

"Because you're the cops." Travis answered fiddling with his hospital ID. He looked young for being twenty-five. He was wearing baggy clothes and had ache.

"You always run from cops Travis?" Ryan asked his eyebrows lifting with the question.

But Travis didn't answer.

"My partner here just asked you a question. Answer it." Esposito jumped in. Beckett could see their tactic straight out. She knew them well and she knew it would work.

"No. They just came at me and scared me. Instincts kicked in, you know? And I just bolted."

"Instincts ay? Like killer instincts?" Esposito slid so easily into that one, Beckett managed a smile.

"What?" Travis looked up at Esposito and Ryan. Esposito was leaning over the desk staring right at Travis.

Ryan began to push photos in front of Travis of the Weatherly's. He flinched at the images and pushed them back towards Ryan.

"Don't like looking at your work bro?" Esposito was moving in as bad cop.

"I didn't do that. I didn't" Travis' voice was trembling and shaky. His eyes were jolting around the room.

"Come on Esposito, you really think that he is capable of all this." Ryan slid the photos back out onto the table and Travis continued looking away. "Do you know who these people are?" Ryan asked in a more soft tone, becoming the good cop.

"Becky's parents and sister." He replied quietly.

"And how do you know Becky? Because you seem to be the only one that knows them in this city and Becky's body has gone missing. Do you know anything about that?" Ryan asked.

Travis' breaths became more hardened. "Becky was my girlfriend."

Esposito and Ryan darted eyes at each other without Travis seeing them.

"We started dating her freshmen year of college and then the accident happened. I thought she was going to pull through, like last time so I never gave up hope. That's why Simone never worked, she couldn't keep a job down because she would always be researching different methods of care or staying at the hospital. That's why I quit college and got a job at the hospital, so she could leave Becky and know someone was there. She was paranoid about everything since Becky's car accident. Couldn't handle being alone and hated new people looking after Becky. When I found out about the murders, I remembered Lila talking about her real Dad. How he was a drunk, so I offered him fifty dollars to sign her termination form. I knew Becky would want to be with them and I couldn't care for her on my own." Travis had tears in his eyes and hands were shaking. "I got Dr. Jenkins to sign off as well and pulled the plug." His voice sounded so raspy at the end, it was hard to hear.

"Did you pick the funeral home?" Esposito asked, moving down to Travis' level.

"I couldn't afford to, so it was left to the state. I took her to the morgue and when I went back, she was gone." Travis cradled his head with his hands.

"Someone took her body Travis. Know anyone that would be stupid enough to do that from the hospital?" Ryan asked hoping for a lead but Travis shook his head.

-x-

"You believe him?" Esposito asked walking over to Beckett's desk and Beckett nodded.

"Same." Ryan said with his hands in his pockets.

"This case. I feel like it's a load of dead ends with someone is not telling the truth." Esposito was shaking his head and Ryan nodded.

"Let Travis go and go check in with the officers at the hospital, staking out Jenkins. Mix it up a bit and hopefully we can get him to stuff up."

Beckett sat down at her desk and looked over the murder board once again. She found herself staring at one image for over an hour when she noticed the material of the gowns the victims were found in. She remembered how they looked familiar to something she had seen once before, long ago.

She searched the address from the order form of the gowns dating back to the 1960's. It was an old private hospital called Acreage, they dealt with hospice care but went bankrupt only six years after opening.

Beckett searched deeper into the history of the building until she found the report that she remembered seeing in the police archives one day after reading her Mothers case file.

_"Hospital shutdown after Doctor accused of performing experimental surgeries on patients." _

The report talked about how a Doctor Raymond Valenten had been arrested for killing innocent people by performing surgeries on them to investigate the inner mind and how illness' such as anxiety and paranoia affected the brain and how it could be cured. The hospital was closed in 1952 and wasn't re-opened until Acreage took over the lease in the 1960's, keeping some of the materials from the original hospital.

The images where of the patients being carried out in body bags, wearing the same gowns. Beckett read further into the police report about details about the case. Each victim was given a number and that was the way they were tracked. The numbers were burnt into the bottom of their feet.

Beckett put her hand over her mouth as she kept reading. Dr. Valenten was charged on eleven counts of first degree murder and received the death penalty in New York City in 1957. He only had one surviving relative, a son that changed his name from Grove Valenten to Miles Jenkins to avoid public criticism when he was a young boy and was put into the system.


	8. Chapter 8

**(Please don't hate me for this chapter haha. Thanks for your reviews, they honestly make my day and make me want to keep writing. H. x.)**

Chapter Eight.

Beckett rung Esposito to tell him what she'd found when she saw Travis walking into the building.

"Is Castle going to wait in the car?" Esposito half joked and was half serious. She could always tell that Esposito was uneasy about Castle being on the frontline when he hadn't put his name on the dotted line, like the others had.

"He's not here." Beckett ended the phone call. She closed her eyes and breathed out. She moved him out of her mind and opened the door of her car

-x-

The corridors were empty. Boxes lay scattered across the floor with files spilling out of them. There was plastic sheeting strewn across the windows and desks.

Beckett made her way up the three flights of stairs, making sure she was silent with every step. She turned the corner and saw someone lying on the ground bleeding. She didn't draw her gun or run to help, she stood there frozen.

"Rick." She whispered.

Her hands found her mouth and her breathing grew rapid. There was a small pool of blood around his head and he wasn't moving. She heard talking and quickly ducted back around the corner.

Ofcourse he was here. She had kicked him off the case so he had gone home and researched it on his own, drawn his own conclusion and wound up in the same place she had. She looked back to him. He lay silently on the ground, his eyes closed. She almost screamed out to him when she heard yelling coming from down the hall.

Her head wasn't in the game. She needed to focus. She watched the reflection of the two people in the hallway picture. They were arguing. She clicked the safety off her gun and turned the corner.

"NYPD, Put your hands up!" She called out and the two men, startled, pulled their own weapons on Beckett.

What was she thinking doing this without backup?

"Drop them right now!" Beckett yelled as she stepped past Castle. She didn't even look down to him.

"Travis, drop the gun." Beckett yelled again. She turned her weapon on Jenkins. Somehow surprised that he was actually involved in the entire thing. When he was in surgery, Travis would have dumped the bodies. They were partners.

"Detective Beckett, where is your partner these days?" Jenkins asked turning his gun towards Castle who lay helplessly on the ground. She knew what he was doing, trying to move her focus but she didn't respond.

"Travis, drop it." Beckett said again, her voice loud and strong even though her insides were turning inside out and she felt like she was dying knowing Castle was hurt.

"I...I...can't" Travis' hand was shaking at the weight of the gun.

"Shut it, kid." Jenkins looked over his shoulder at Travis.

"Travis, come on. Drop the gun. You're not a killer." Beckett inched a step closer.

"He killed them. He killed Becky's family." Travis was stuttering.

"I know. I know he did. Drop the gun."

Jenkins laughed and turned the gun from Castle back to Beckett. "Now, now Detective, I'm going to have to silence the pair of you now." He rolled his eyes and pointed the gun towards Travis.

There was a gunshot. It seemed louder than usual. Beckett didn't even know where it came from. It wasn't her gun.

Jenkins fell to the ground, his shoulder bleeding on his expensive suit. Esposito and Ryan quickly moved past Beckett. They secured the guns and Ryan cuffed Travis. Esposito was holding down Jenkins, who was swearing and struggling under Epsosito's grip.

Beckett turned around fast, her hair effortlessly flew and landed perfectly again. She ran for Castle. She knelt down to his face and took it in her hands.

"Rick. Rick!" She yelled to his lifeless body. She checked his pulse but couldn't find it. She found a cut just above his hairline by his neck. It was deep, she could tell. Her hands glistening with his scarlet blood as she began CPR.

-x-

She was counting out loud when she saw the paramedics. They began to take over. "NO!" She screamed, protective over him.

"Kate, let them do their job." Ryan was behind Beckett. But she wouldn't move.

Ryan took Beckett's upper arms and pulled her away from Castle. She struggled under his strength, screaming at him to let her go.

"Ryan, let me go." She managed to get out again, trying to get away from his grip.

"Ryan!" She yelled again but he held her tight.

"Please, Ryan." She knew she had lost the fight. She gave in and he held her tighter. Esposito stood in front of her, not wanting her to see them putting a breathing tube down Castle's throat.

"I'll go in the ambulance with him. You don't want to see him like this" Epsosito said to Beckett.

She didn't even realize she was crying when Esposito wiped her face. "I'll ring Marta and Lanie now. He'll come through." Esposito turned and called to the paramedics to go. Ryan held his grip on Beckett until they were out of the building. Her breathing was uneasy and he didn't let her go until it had steadied.

"I'll drive." Ryan took Beckett's hand and led her out of the building.

-x-

Beckett walked into the waiting room with Ryan's assistance. Alexis ran to her and hugged her.

"Kate, what happened?" Martha asked her with her own hand holding Beckett's shoulder but Beckett spun around trying to figure out where Castle was.

She could hear Ryan telling them the story. Alexis was still holding onto Beckett's waist in a hug.

"Kate?" Josh stood there in his scrubs, almost confused as to why they were all in the waiting room and why she was covered in blood.

"Where is he?" Beckett asked quietly.

Josh looked at Ryan and Esposito with a confused look.

"Come with me, we'll get you cleaned up." Josh took her hand and took her down the corridor.

"I have to stay. No, I need to stay with them." Beckett's voice was quiet.

Josh was washing her hands and pulling scrubs over her head before she could say anything more.

"It's Rick, he wasn't breathing. He has a cut on his head. What if..."

But Josh cut off Beckett before she could say anything.

"Don't. It doesn't help in these situations. You have to stay positive." Josh was drying her hands.

"Did you stay positive when it was me?" Beckett asked, her eyes still gazed on the window to the corridor.

"I had to operate on you, so yeah, I stayed positive." Josh forced a smile.

"I'm sorry for what I did." Beckett hung her head down.

"I don't blame you. We weren't the right fit. But come on, let's see how your puzzle piece is doing." Josh said without a hint of passive aggressiveness. He got up and opened the door. He was so nice and caring, Beckett felt horrible for being so happy about being with Castle.

-x-

Hours passed and more and more officers from the 12th came and went checking in on Castle. Beckett was surprised by how many had shown up. She knew Castle had made a big dent in the 12th, but never really thought of how he had moved in so easily and how well liked he was.

As Beckett looked around the waiting room she could see Alexis was asleep on Martha's lap. Lanie was asleep leaning on Esposito's shoulder. Ryan was pacing the room.

"Mrs Rodgers and Miss Castle?" A doctor stood in the doorway.

Alexis and Martha rose as did everyone else.

"Yes." Martha spoke, her tone so bare.

"Richard has just got out of surgery. He had some internal bleeding and the cut on his head knocked him out but he will be fine. He should be awake in the next few hours, but he will be groggy. I suggest you go home, get some rest and then come back in the morning."

"I'm not leaving." Alexis said turning to Martha, who nodded.

"Immediate family only in his room then. Don't want to overcrowd him." The doctor stepped back behind the door, holding it open for Martha.

Alexis turned to Beckett. "You're coming aren't you?"

Beckett was stumped but shook her head.

"No, you go. I'll wait." Beckett managed a half smile as Alexis and Martha went through the door.

"You're sure you don't want to go in?" Lanie's arm rested on Beckett's. She shook her head.

"I have to get back to the precinct and question Travis." Beckett's voice now controlled.

Both Ryan and Esposito looked shocked. "No way, you don't. You're going home. New Captain said you need to learn to delegate more, starting now. Lanie will go with you." Esposito told Beckett in a stern voice over riding her power.

-x-

It was well past 3am when the movie ended. Beckett sat up and looked at Lanie asleep on the couch. Beckett was exhausted but her mind was still racing with the days events. Esposito had rung and told her they were finishing the details on the case. Alexis had rung and told her Castle was awake and asking for her, she told her that she had work and would visit him tomorrow.

She couldn't face him right now. She had put him in danger. She had let her personal feelings get in the way and she had paved the way for him to be hurt. It was all her fault.

"Lanie, Lanie" Beckett was nudging her.

"What?" Lanie asked sleepily.

"Go to my room. You can't sleep on the couch like you are."

"Where are you going to sleep? I'm not leaving you girl." Lanie was now siting, stretching. She was still wearing her scrubs from the morgue. Beckett was still wearing hers from the hospital as well.

"Look at us." Lanie said looking down and back up pulling her shirt. "Who would have thought Richard Castle would cause this much trouble for us?" She quietly laughed.

Beckett sat there and Lanie pulled the blankets up and over her shoulders.

"It's my fault he is in there." Beckett's voice was trembling.

Lanie was already shaking her head.

"It is not. The man is a child. He went rogue, again. This isn't your fault, it's barely his, how many times do you walk into a perfectly fine building and get smacked over the head?" Lanie took Beckett's hand. "This is not your fault."

"We got into a fight, a big one. I threw him off the case and he stormed off." Beckett seemed embarrassed telling Lanie this. It seemed like High School behavior.

"So he went and figured it out to prove to you that he could?"

Beckett barely nodded but Lanie understood.

"What if he wasn't ok, what if he didn't make it? He has a family Lanie and I'm just bad news for him." Beckett's voice was shaking so much she could barely speak.

"He's fine and he's awake. You're not bad news for him either. You two are perfect for each other. You challenge each other. Show off each others best qualities." Lanie was gripping her hand hard.

"But..." Beckett cut in.

"Shut it." Lanie was smiling and shaking Beckett's hand. "Now go and get into bed. I'll take the couch and we'll go see your man in the morning."

"I can't leave you..."

"Go." Lanie pushed Beckett towards her room.

-x-

Beckett's bed seemed so big without Castle in it. She could smell him and unlike the night before, she welcomed it. She wished that they never had the stupid fight. She wished he was next to her, with his arms around her waist and his lips against her neck, but he was in a hospital bed far away from her.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine.

Beckett woke to Lanie and Esposito talking in her lounge. She pulled herself out of bed and walked into the lounge. Lanie was up and changed.

"Javier brought some clothes over for me. We'll wait for you to get ready and then go see Castle?" Lanie asked folding her scrubs.

"Uh. I'm going to shower and go around later. Don't want to crowd him." Beckett said playing with her fingers.

Esposito looked at Lanie and raised his eyebrows.

"I'll go wait in the car. Don't even think about going into the precinct today either. You're off for the rest off the week." Esposito had left before Beckett could get a word in.

"You are going aren't you?" Lanie looked worried.

"Yeah, I just want to shower first. Get ready." Beckett lied. "It is better we do this in shifts as well."

-x-

Beckett stood at the windows for over an hour before she got into the shower. Even though she had washed her hands over and over again, there was a faint red color to the water, which made her insides squirm.

She ignored a call from Lanie and one from Ryan sometime after midday. She would have gone and hid at the 12th but everyone would be asking about Castle, she couldn't deal with it.

She thought about leaving her apartment because she knew Lanie would come after her eventually for not going to see him but she didn't have anywhere to go. She just walked aimlessly around her apartment, picking up things and looking at them. Moving things around for something to do. She sat on the windowsill for a while watching people from her view. She finally plucked up the courage to go and then drove around for an hour before Lanie called again and left a message.

"Javier and I just left. Ryan was there with Jenny, as well as Martha and Alexis. The girls are going after dinner. They wanted to stay but they are exhausted and I told them you'd go tonight. He keeps asking for you Kate. Please go and see him. He's up and fine. Please, Kate."

The message ended and Beckett put both hands on the wheel and hung her head. She closed her eyes so she wouldn't cry.

She knew she was avoiding this whole situation because it was too close to home. She hated that she wasn't there when he woke up in the hospital bed, like he was after she got shot. Waking up to him there made the whole thing less real. She checked the clock. It was half six. She turned the keys and made her way to New York Presbyterian.

She asked for his room number at the Nurses Station and made her way down the corridor. Then out of nowhere, she saw him. He was asleep; the light from outside was shining in. There were tubes coming from his arm and machines beeping. He had a bandage around his neck and wrapped around his shoulder. She backed away from the room and walked down the corridor to the storeroom holding her arm out against the wall for balance. She hit against the wall, sliding down it covering her face with her hands, tears streaming down her face. She could barely breathe. She sat there trying to manage her breathing and trying to stop the tears.

"Excuse me but are you ok?" A nurse had found Beckett slumped over her knees. She stood up quickly, wiping her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She managed in between her hiccups, knowing full well that the nurse wouldn't believe her.

"Are you Detective Beckett?"

Beckett shot a worried look at her and nodded.

"Ah. Mr. Castle asked to wake him up if you came tonight." The nurse began to walk towards his room.

"No, please leave him. I'll wait till he wakes up."

The nurse nodded and ushered in Beckett. She closed the blinds to the corridor and closed the door behind her. Beckett didn't like her very much; she practically forced her into the room. Beckett turned around slowly, Castle was fast asleep. She sat down the chair next to his bed and waited. Her hands shaking every time one of the machines beeped.

-x-

Beckett's eyes opened slowly. She couldn't remember where she was. She could hear the machines beeping and making strange noises. Her neck was sore from sleeping in a weird position.

"I really should wait in the car…"

Beckett's eyes shot open. Castle was looking at her smiling. Her heart skipped a beat.

"Castle." She said etching forward in her seat. "How long have you been awake?" she asked, pulling the hair out of her face.

"An hour. You're so beautiful when you sleep." He responded moving around in his bed, wincing at the pain of his neck. Beckett got to her feet and was at his side. He took her hand.

"Took long enough to come see me. I've waited all day. Even Garry in lockup came." Castle was smiling. Nothing seemed to faze him. Beckett took her hand away.

"Kate…" Castle began to sit up.

"No, don't. You'll pull your stitches out." Beckett wouldn't look at Castles face. She was staring at the patterns on the sheets that were all too familiar.

"If we hadn't had that fight, you wouldn't have been there. If we weren't together, then we wouldn't have had the fight. You wouldn't be in this situation. This is my fault." Beckett was terrified to even look in his eyes because she was holding in the tears.

"Kate, come on. This is no ones fault, except, maybe, Jenkins. But it's sure as hell not your fault. Or ours. I am happy with you; I would have been there regardless of the fight." Castle took her hand again and squeezed it hard.

"I thought I had lost you." Beckett looked up to Castle. Her eyes were filled with tears.

"I would never leave you. Don't forget that. You're everything I need so please, please forget about this. Forget it happened." Castle knew it was a big ask. He knew Beckett never forgot anything. He needed to prove to her that he was fine and he wasn't going anywhere.

He painfully moved to one side of the hospital cot and pulled her over.

"No way. You were in surgery yesterday." Beckett pulled back.

"I need you." Castle finally showed his vulnerability and Beckett gave in.

Beckett kicked off her shoes and gently sat on the side of the bed. Castle pulled her around the waist with his good arm and she moved in closer.

"We're going to get into trouble for this." Beckett said half smiling.

"The Nurse is a big fan, I promised her an advanced copy of Heat Rises if she left us alone." Castle raised his eyebrows smiling.

"Richard Castle, even in a hospital bed, you're still a charme…" Beckett didn't even get time to finish her sentence before Castle kissed her.

It was like their first kiss again. They both had the sense of needing and longing for each other. Beckett parted her lips and Castle found his way in. The kiss grew intensely. Castle fell back onto the bed and Beckett was on top. His good hand found it's way under her shirt; she arched her back at the feel of his cold hand. She felt Castle miss a kiss so she pulled back.

"That's enough." Beckett said sitting back at the end of the bed and Castle moaned.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because you got smacked with a hunk of wood and you weren't breathing. You had a brain bleed and internal bleeding, not to mention the gaping cut in your neck."

Castle rolled his eyes at her.

"Can we at least cuddle?" he asked watching her looking out the window. She was curling her hair in her fingers and biting her bottom lip. Two traits of hers, that made him crazy about her.

She turned to him and smiled weakly.

"Did you tell Alexis and Martha about us?" Beckett asked.

Castle looked right into her eyes. "They came home after our fight and I told them I thought I'd lost you. I had to tell them. I'm sorry if that makes what we're doing too real for you or moving too fast but they needed to know."

Beckett just nodded. She was not really sure of an appropriate answer. They sat in silence for a bit before Castle held out his hand to Beckett and she took it. He pulled her into him and pulled the blanket over her.

"I'm not on any tubes am I?" Beckett asked smiling. "You can breathe right?"

"Barely, but that's just you, not the oxygen." Castle smiled as he pulled Beckett's hair away from her face. He let his arm fall down and tried not to wince at the pain.

His nose pressed against the small of her neck.

"I love you Kate. Always" He whispered.

Beckett smiled. And closed her eyes.

"I love you too Rick."

He kissed her neck softly.


	10. Chapter 10

**(Wow. This is the last chapter for this story. I can't believe this is the final. I really hope you enjoy the end and have enjoyed the story as much as I have writing it. To everyone that wrote reviews, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You're all amazing and I honestly wouldn't have finished it without you. This year hasn't been easy with earthquakes ruining the city that I now call home. Writing this story gave me an escape from the outside world and constant shaking and it wont be the last I write either. I've already got an outline for another Caskett story in the works. A special mention to ****caskett maniac, who wrote a beautiful review that inspired me to finish this story today. (I was going to give it another week) So this chapter is for you! Hope you're all well. H. x.)**

Chapter Ten.

It was a week after Castle had been released from hospital and Beckett had promised she would go and debrief him on the case once they wrapped it up, as he had been stuck at home all week and was going crazy. Beckett had kept her distance this past week, relying on txts and phone calls to satisfy her need for Castle. They both had agreed that they didn't want to come on too strong for Alexis' sake but now Beckett stood outside Castle's door too scared to go in. This was the first time she would be in his loft, in front of his family as his girlfriend and this scared Beckett.

She breathed in, closed her eyes and knocked on the door.

"Kate, come in dear. How are you?" Martha asked holding the door open for Beckett.

"I'm great, a little tired but great. How are you?" Beckett asked almost falling over the suitcases at the front door.

"Wonderful. Alexis and I are just about to head to the airport. She's going to see Ashley at Stanford and I conveniently have an audition in L.A." Martha winked over Beckett's shoulder and she looked over to see Castle siting on the couch. He was wearing a plain dress shirt and pants, his hair was messy but yet, he still managed to look so handsome.

"Great timing for an audition." Beckett smiled to Martha and she nodded.

Beckett watched as Alexis dragged her suitcase down the stairs in a hurry.

"Are you ready?" She asked Martha in a frantic tone.

"Yes darling, now don't panic we have ages to get to the airport."

"I know. I'm just so excited." Alexis spun around, her gorgeous red hair flying in every direction. "Beckett!" her yes widened at the sight of Beckett. She almost ran to her, probably realizing half way to her that she didn't want to seem too forward but Beckett smiled and welcomed her hug.

"We should go." Alexis said looking from Beckett to Castle, who had moved from the couch and now stood at Beckett's side.

"Promise me that you wont do anything stupid Dad, I'm serious. The Doctor told you that you have to take it slow and he wasn't kidding. Please watch him." Alexis said as she picked up her suitcase. She kissed Castle on the cheek and hugged Beckett again. Martha did the same and closed the door behind her.

-x-

Beckett walked over to the couch and realized it was where Castle had spent most of his time this past week. Food, DVD covers and his laptop sprawled across the coffee table.

"Not even a welcome kiss?" Castle said to Beckett and pulled a sad face which made Beckett smile. He loved that smile. He sat down next to her and she leaned over to him and kissed him once, a slow and faint kiss on his lips and then leaned back against the couch.

"You'll never guess what happened in the case." Beckett breathed out, showing Castle that she was exhausted from the week.

"Well you have been keeping the details from me all week." Castle tried to sound annoyed by this was still smiling.

"That's because I know you wouldn't stay away and you'd show up at the precinct if I had told you. This case was right up your alley from day one." Beckett watched Castle as he ran his fingers down her thigh.

"Tell me then." He said not taking his eyes off his fingers.

"CSU did a major sweep of the office building and found Becky Weatherly's body, only to discover that it was hooked up to a generated power source. She's still alive." Castle broke his intense stare from Beckett's thigh and looked up to her, his eyes widening.

"Seriously?" Castle's face was covered in surprise.

Beckett nodded. "It was Jenkins way of coaxing Travis into doing the dirty work for him. The Weatherly's had decided they were going to turn off her life support and Jenkins said that he would keep her alive. Travis had no idea that Jenkins was after her family for his experiments." Beckett rubbed her eyes. "CSU found a journal at Jenkins apartment detailing all the experiments that he had carried out on other patients, a straight carry on from his Father's work. Only problem is that there is only the numbers of each patient, no DNA or evidence and Jenkins isn't talking."

Castle was so invested he was moving closer to Beckett, clinging off her every move, slightly depressed he had missed all of this. "What are they going to do?"

"Nothing we can do unless he talks or if they find more bodies. There are six more numbers in the journals representing patients, hopefully we can find them." Beckett took Castle's fingers off her leg and held them in her hand.

"What about Travis and Becky?" Castle asked squeezing Beckett's hand.

"I spoke to the DA, they're cutting him a deal for his corporation in the case and because he didn't actually know what Jenkins was up to until it was too late, he should get off easy. As for Becky, because her biological Father did sign the papers and they can't find him to sign it again, he is her only living relative so the State has to grant his wish" Beckett rested her head against the couch and closed her eyes. It had been a long week both at physically and emotionally.

"I feel so bad for Travis, doing all of it for love and then still loosing her." Castle's voice was quieter than usual, his tone softer as if he didn't want to disturb Beckett.

Beckett opened her eyes and looked at Castle. "Ryan and Esposito took him down to the hospital today and he got to say goodbye."

Castle let go of Beckett's hand and pulled her arm over to him, she made a reluctant noise but Castle pulled her over anyway.

"Case closed then?" Castle asked quietly, almost whispering as she gave in and rested her head on his lap. Beckett nodded as Castle tucked the loose hair around her neck. She loved the feel of his touch.

"How is your neck feeling?" Beckett asked looking up to Castle.

"All better." He smiled which made Beckett roll her eyes.

They sat there in silence for awhile, neither one wanting to talk but just to bask in the moment. Castle twirled Beckett's hair in between his fingers, which made Beckett sleepy.

Castle's phone rang which gave Beckett a fright and she sat up a little too fast. He reached for it and answered.

-x-

"It was Alexis saying they were boarding the plane." Castle called out, getting off the couch. "I see you're making yourself right at home Detective Beckett." He smiled.

She wasn't really hungry, she was just looking into the fridge for a guiding light of some sort. She had waited all week to see Castle, she had spent the nights staring at her alarm clock watching the hours click by, the days click by, until she finally got to see him again and now she was staring into his fridge.

"Kate?" Castle asked standing there, watching her skin being lit by the fridge.

"Yeah?" she asked closing the fridge and facing him.

"You hungry or just enjoying my array of chilled foods?" Castle asked.

Becket smiled and walked past Castle back into the lounge. She loved Castle's loft and the feel it had. She could feel Castle behind her, she knew his face would be studying her every move and as she turned back to face Castle she flashed him a smile, a smile that indicated all was good. She wrapped her hands around his neck, making sure she was very gentle and rested her forehead against his. His hands held her hips so gently she could barely feel them there until his fingers were under her shirt caressing the small of her back. His lips found hers and she gave into him so easily. The taste of her taking hostage of every sense in his body. Her hands found his shirt buttons and without effort or thinking she was undoing them. Castle held onto Beckett's shirt and lifted it up and over her head with ease, her body so exposed against his. Beckett took hold of Castle's belt buckle and this time he did nothing to stop her from taking it off. As Castle stepped out of the legs of his pants he knelt down to the ground and Beckett followed. The two of them not taking their eyes of each other until Castle kissed Beckett again, He moved closer to her and with one hand on the ground and one hand holding her hip, he guided her to the floor, not breaking the kiss. Using his free hand he undid the button of her jeans and without aid from her took them off, exposing her milky white skin against the rug. Castle took his shirt off himself, trying not to let Beckett see him quivering from the pain. Castle couldn't take his eyes off her beautiful body as she lay beneath him. Then he noticed her scar, where the bullet had pierced her perfect skin the day of Captain's funeral, the scar that was the cause of so much pain, hurt and suffering for the both of them was now out in the open. He ran his fingers over the scar which made Beckett shudder and he kissed her again, a soft kiss to let her know she was safe.

"Look at us and our battle scars." Castle said not taking his hand off her scar.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Beckett asked looking up at Castle, knowing he would be in pain because of his neck.

"Just remember that my safe word is apples." Castle said as he kissed Beckett's smiling face.


End file.
